It’s 4am when your alarm clock goes off most mornings. Although you’re tired, somehow you still manage to force yourself out of bed. Your eyes are still heavy with sleep. Your body is still tired from the countless activities you performed the day before, but you find a little motivation from within to get your day started.
You take a moment to compose yourself, so it’s now 15 minutes later. You try to get a little quiet time for yourself before the kids wake up in the next few hours. And then it begins. You’re cleaning the house, cooking breakfast, preparing lunches, doing laundry, and trying to organize your day all before your husband and kids get up because you know once they wake up it’s time to enter superwoman mode.
Your identity transforms from your name to “mommy or baby.” You’re constantly running around from place to place until nightfall. You barely get a second to yourself, yet in the midst of all this, you are still receiving calls, emails, and text. Although you have good intentions to respond when you get a second, it often slips your mind. Sometimes it is days later until you remember.
You finally get a second to yourself and that’s when the flood hits you.
“Hey girl, you busy?”
“Hey girl, wanna do lunch?”
“Hey girl, I tried calling you.”
You hesitate to respond because you already feel horrible about your delayed response. You’re slightly embarrassed that it’s taken you 3 days to get back to them. And quite frankly, you’re too tired to argue or for the slick remarks.
You come off as if you have it all together. You wear many hats and you wear them well. You’re used to having your game face on so very seldom do you allow -them to see you sweat. You truly feel bad. You aren’t trying to be a horrible friend, or a bad wife and mom. You’re just tired.
You’re tired of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You’re tired from constantly running around you do day in and day out. You’re tired of being super wife and mom. You attempt to execute a million tasks daily and at this point, you are just simply tired.
You tell yourself that you have to be there for everything and everyone. You continue to keep pushing yourself to the limit. You never give yourself a chance to breathe. You constantly feel like you’re up against the clock. Now you’re burnt out.
Burnout is something that impacts every area of your life and it is super hard to shake it off if you allow yourself to get too far gone. It becomes harder for you to function. It creates feelings of apathy. Often times it inevitably leads to mental and physical exhaustion. By this time you are no good to yourself or anyone else.
You felt bad before, but now you feel horrible. The kids are running rampant and you just want a quiet moment to yourself. Usually, the noise does not t bother you, but because you are currently experiencing burnout you find yourself getting easily annoyed. You raise your voice to try to get a little control in your house and now the babies are crying. You immediately feel 100 times worse because you know this is out of character.
You’ve been begging your husband for more quality time, but when he attempts to snuggle up underneath him you push him away. You just want your space. You want a second to recoup. He’s confused by your behavior because just trying to do what you asked him to do. You notice the change in his mood which causes you to feel that much worse.
You finally get a second to respond to everyone that’s reached out over the past few days. You’re constantly greeted with “It took you long enough.” At this point, you just want to scream. Not only do you feel like you suck as a wife and mom, but also as a friend. You’re a woman, so quite naturally you begin to beat yourself up. But no worries, I am here to help.
By now you’re feeling like you’ve dropped the ball in so many areas that you must be a horrible person. But you’re not. You’re just tired! You’ve allowed yourself to experience an overwhelming amount of exhaustion to the point where you just aren’t yourself. Your tiredness is making you behave in ways that are out of character for you. Stop beating yourself up. You aren’t alone.
As women, we feel like it is our duty to take on more than we can bare. Women can struggle with self-care because we have been taught that there is value is in caring for others, often at the expense of our own wellbeing. So there is a fight within ourselves that self-care is a selfish act.
You do not want to come off as weak. You feel like you can handle it. You are afraid to say no. You feel as though it’s a sign of weakness. You don't want to be inconsiderate or let anyone down. We inherently place ourselves on the back burners. You have to stop.
You have to learn to say no. You have to learn to protect your peace. You have to learn to look out for you! When you’re no good to yourself, you’re no good to anyone else. You owe it to yourself and no one else to make sure that you are taken care of. You have to take care of you! This should not be up for debate.
"Make it a priority to begin implementing self-care into your everyday routine."
Find time to do something just for you every day. Paint your toes, beat your face, go for a walk, meditate. I don’t care what you choose to do as long as you do something. It doesn’t have to be for a long extended period of time, but it does need to happen. I know it may be hard for you to enjoy that bubble bath while the babies are crying, but guess what? They will be ok for five minutes without you. It’s not selfish, it is self-care! You owe that to yourself and to your family.
Kids are very intuitive. They may not understand why you are easily angered by things that you would normally give them a pass on, but they will notice.They don’t understand why you don’t want to play today or why you’re hiding in the bathroom. Your husband doesn’t understand why you’re snapping at him out of nowhere and don’t want to be touched.
Failing to take the necessary measures to implement self-care is not only a disservice to yourself, but to everyone else. No one wants to deal with the run-down, mediocre version of you. And let’s be honest, can you really blame them?
So let’s make these 3 promises today
1. Stop Beating Yourself Up for Being Tired
Contrary to whatever you have been telling yourself, you are not superwoman nor do you possess super powers. You are HUMAN and humans get tired! Yes you may have good intentions that you often fail to execute, but that doesn't make you a bad person. That is a clear indicator that you need to establish healthy balances to aid you in this area.
2. Implement Self-care into Your Daily Routine
Women are givers by nature. (Well, at least most of us are lol) We tend to give give give until we reach the point to where we feel as though we have nothing left. We do things for everyone else, but never take time to do things for ourselves. That has to stop!
You have to get to the point where you set aside time to take care of YOU! It's ok for you to take time to yourself away from your kids, your man, your job, your friends, your family, your RESPONSIBILITIES. Every day you should do something for yourself. Doesn't matter how big or small. Just do something. And don't feel bad about doing it. You deserve it.
3. Stick to it
How many times have you said you were going to implement something new but then you only executed for the first few days? Yeahhhhh, don't let this be one of those times. I want you to truly make a conscious effort to really make self-care a nonnegotiable part of your every day life. You're no good to yourself or anyone else when you aren't functioning at your maximum capacity.
It may not feel normal in the beginning. You may feel like you are being selfish at times, but I can guarantee you will be much happier you did later.